Wednesday 17 October 2012
Space Jump Response
At first I didn’t believe it was true that a man could jump from space down to earth. I thought it must have been fake for sure. But once I watched the video I thought WOW! I thought for sure he would die. I know if I was him I would have fainted half way down or chickened out and not jump. But to be honest I would never do that in the first place. I was amazed at how fast he went down to earth, breaking a world record! That’s pretty impressive. He has lots of guts to do that jump. I am still wandering why he would want to do that? Risk his life just to break a world record? I would never do anything to risk my life if it’s just for breaking a record. Well all and all he’s got way more guts than I do and congrats to the space jumper! J
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ReplyDeleteNicholas,
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot of ideas in this paragraph and you keep referring to "him" but remember we are writing for an audience beyond our class; who is he? What must have been fake? I think if you remember this in your next post, it will be really clear for your audience. Granted this is a pretty popular global event so most of your readers will understand what you mean by space jump, but I am just reminding you that one of our learning intentions is to write in the formal tone and part of that means introducing your subject in a way that provides context for your readers and avoiding the conversational tone (language). You have the ideas and you know how to relate personally so now we will just work on your tone. Good job for a first post. Welcome to blogging!